Self-Defeating Behaviours: What are they and how can we minimise them?

Counterproductive and destructive behaviours – some are easy to identify – others are not. For example: getting a tattoo or piercing? Self-defeating or not?

In fact, it could be either.

Anxiety & Stress Visualization

First, ‘self-defeating behaviour’ is defined as: ‘Any behaviour that stands in the way of us reaching our potential in a healthy and constructive manner.’

We are, in effect, dealing with a conscious/sub-conscious conflict. Most of us will struggle with self-defeating behaviour at some point in our lives, and it is something that comes up a lot in regular counselling sessions with clients.

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How To Pay a Compliment

I have been a fan of the work of Allan and Barbara Pease for many years. Their personal development techniques are extremely insightful and also add humour to the subject.

One of the people skills Allan talks about is paying compliments. One of the reasons he says we have difficulty paying compliments is in case we are dismissed by a throw away comment from the intended recipient. Unfortunately, many of us are not very good at accepting compliments!

However, his research has shown that if you do pay someone a compliment they are more likely to be impressed with you. So what can we do to pay a compliment without running the risk of embarrassment?

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How to Get the Most Out of Couples Therapy

The decision to undergo Couples Therapy can be a hard one, but this is an excellent first step in being able to understand your relationship and how to work through any complications.

However, Couples Therapy is more than just showing up and letting a therapist tell you what you should be doing. There are a few things to keep in mind to get the most out of couples therapy.

couples therapy smiling couple both laughing

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Psychology Definition Of The Week: Passive Aggressive Behaviour

What is passive aggressive behaviour?

Passive-aggressive behaviour is defined in the English dictionary as “of or denoting a type of behaviour or personality characterised by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation”. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) revision IV defines passive-aggressive personality disorder as a “pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance in social and occupational situations.”

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Does Relationship Counselling Work?


Being in a loving relationship can be a wonderful experience, but often couples find that they need a helping hand. In today’s high-pressure work relationships can run into all sorts of problems, which can put a real strain on both parties and on the relationship as a whole. Everything from family and friends through to work pressures and finances can have a profound impact on a relationship.

In order to work through these issues and get things back on an even keel, many couples decide to go for relationship counselling. This has become a popular option amongst those that want to sort out relationship issues but does it really work – and what does it involve?

man and women doing relationship counselling

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Helping a Loved One in Recovery Stay Sober

Many recovering addiction patients often think ending substance abuse begins and ends with a detox and rehab programme. But this is just part of the recovery process.
Attaining full healing and recovery is a long journey, as staying sober requires high doses of commitment and determination.

When family members, close friends and other loved ones actively lend their support and guidance in a former addict’s healing journey, it encourages them and makes recovery from a life of substance abuse easier and faster.

helping loved one stay sober addiction breaking free from handcuffs

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You’re self-harming right now and you don’t even know it

You might not have ever considered some of the things that you do to self-harm, even if they only pose a small danger to yourself. This is often due to a kind of negligence and ignorance towards the things we know that harm us, which is why it is extremely vital to be aware of our potentially damaging behaviours, and if there is an underlying problem, talk to the right people.

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Six of the most effective anger management techniques you can try at home

At some point in time, it’s only natural that we’ll experience anger. Whether it’s your home life, social life or work life, there are numerous factors that can build up to make you angry. Sometimes, that anger can spiral out of control and lead you to lash out at those closest to you, and this can have a serious impact on your life. However, it’s important that you learn to channel those emotions and control them in an effective manner. If you are finding it hard to control your anger, then here are six techniques you can try from home.



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Why counselling and psychotherapy is so important

Throughout our lives, almost all of us experience symptoms of stress, anxiety and depression. Whether it’s our job that causes stress, a difficult-to-manage family situation or the pain of losing a loved one, it can sometimes be difficult to manage our everyday tasks.

These feelings are perfectly natural and can happen to anyone, but when these feelings stick around, it can be a sign that you need help. Counselling can help alleviate the burdens of depression and help people move past the barriers that these negative feelings have erected.

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What is Depression

Depression was first recognised in the 16th century, but even now there isn’t a concise explanation for exactly why it occurs. Some studies say 5% of the population are depressed, others say 22% but whatever the actual numbers depression affects every demographic. It’s a serious and common condition of sadness, albeit a somewhat extreme form of sadness in some cases, and is believed to be more prevalent in women than men.  Perhaps this is due to the perceived difference in the way men and women express emotions, or feel comfortable doing so.

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