I have been a fan of the work of Allan and Barbara Pease for many years. Their personal development techniques are extremely insightful and also add humour to the subject.
One of the people skills Allan talks about is paying compliments. One of the reasons he says we have difficulty paying compliments is in case we are dismissed by a throw away comment from the intended recipient. Unfortunately, many of us are not very good at accepting compliments!
However, his research has shown that if you do pay someone a compliment they are more likely to be impressed with you. So what can we do to pay a compliment without running the risk of embarrassment?
Use the person’s name: The person you are paying the compliment to will pay more attention to what you are saying if you say their name.
Say “because”: Don’t say what you like unless you say why you like it, in other words add a ‘because’ at the end of the compliment. This helps to validate the compliment. An example would be, “I like your shoes because they match your outfit”.
Use an open ended question: Ask an open ended question at the end of the sentence, i.e. one that can’t be answered with a yes or no. Using the shoe example again, “I like your shoes because they match your outfit. What made you choose them?”
To find out more about the work of Allan and Barbara Pease you can visit their website by clicking here.