Human beings are thought to be instinctively social creatures, and relationships form an integral part of this sociability. Sadly for many people forming and maintaining relationships can be extremely difficult. Relationships can be one of our biggest sources of happiness and also one of our biggest sources of stress and anxiety. Putting time and effort into relationships is an important life skill, so why do we sometimes fail to make relationships work?
Negative Thoughts, Feelings and Actions in Relationships
Jealousy, selfishness, insecurity, an unwillingness to commit, trying to dominate, setting too high an expectation on our partner, putting hurtful comments about our partner on social media – just some of the negative things we do in relationships. Statistics estimate that 42% of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce (Source: Office for National Statistics, Dec 2012). So what can we do to change this?
Many couples spend a large amount of time planning their wedding and very little time planning their marriage. Couples spend time on invitations, choosing flowers, selecting a venue and finding the right clothing, but very little time on exploring what is important to them in a lasting relationship. For example, do you know your future spouses love language or their personality type? Do you want to find out more about building a solid foundation for your relationship? Pre-marriage counselling can help you.
Relationship and Couples Counselling
“Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent and not enough time on what is important.” (Dr Stephen R Covey). It’s all too easy to neglect relationships. Trying to balance work, friendships, children, family and a social life is all part of modern day life, so it is no surprise that we sometimes get it wrong. Relationships need, amongst other things, good communication to survive and this can often be the first thing that goes wrong. Couples may find themselves too close to the issue(s) to be able to see them rationally and find ways to resolve them. Relationship counselling can help you and your partner get back on track by offering you time and space to: address specific issues within your relationship, deal with past relationship issues which may be affecting your current relationship, improve your understanding of your partner’s personality type and communication style or work towards a set of goals.