Thought reframing: There is an adage in CBT that says what you think about creates feelings. So, imagine I spoke to you each day and told you how well you sounded; that I had spoken to your family, friends and colleagues and they had all commented on how much they value you and how hard you work; that you are a confident, competent, professional and kind person. Think about how this would make you feel.
Conversely, if I spoke to you each day and said you sounded terrible, worse than yesterday; that I had spoken to those closest to you and they had commented on how little you contribute, how much you struggle to achieve things, how ineffective you are. How would this make you feel?
The challenge for all of us when we experience stress, anxiety and low mood is that our internal narrative can reflect the latter conversation. We can stop being our own biggest fans and start to run ourselves down. When we do this our confidence and self-esteem can plummet and we can feel more stressed, anxious and unable to cope than before. So, how do we manage this internal narrative to work in our favour? So, here are some strategies to try, but remember there isn’t a one size fits all. Therefore, take some time to try each approach to determine which is the most effective for you.
Mindfulness: This is a form of meditation. Sit in a quiet place, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Furthermore, allow thoughts to come to mind, acknowledge them and breath through them. Think of your thoughts like a bus that drives down the road towards you. Rather than let it pull over at the stop and you get on board with it, let the bus drive by until it disappears into the distance. Some people find this a very helpful technique for coping with intrusive thoughts and an anxious narrative, others find it challenging. Also, you can also find mindfulness courses online.
Thought Rejection: Imagine standing at a cricket crease or batting for a baseball team. As intrusive thoughts are bowled towards you think about batting them away. This can be a helpful technique to avoid ruminating on intrusive thoughts. Some people find a mantra helpful such as “delete that thought” or “No thanks, I’m not listening” every time an unhelpful thought comes to mind. So, the idea is not to give intrusive thoughts time to land.
Thought Reframing: Make a list of your significant thoughts for that day. Ask yourself for each thought: 1. Is it helpful? 2. Is it evidence based, i.e., can it pass an empirical test? 3. Is it therefore realistic? If the thought doesn’t pass these criteria, it has the potential to make you feel anxious. Anxious thoughts can often start with “what if…” or “should I have…” to reframe them think about an old painting and how putting a new frame on it improves its appearance. The painting fundamentally remains the same, as with the situation you are facing, but internally re-wording it into something more helpful, evidence based and realistic can change the way you feel about it.
Visualisation: Some people are more visual in the way they learn or process things. So, close your eyes. Imagine the negative thought or situation you are facing in a colour print. Now imagine that colour image getting smaller and smaller and turning into black and white. Watch it as it gets smaller and finally disappears.
Whichever approach you decide to continue with make sure you use it daily for at least three months. Also, don’t stop using it when you feel better. Old scripts can come back into play if we don’t give the new script enough time to become the new default. You can also find courses online for addressing panic.
Further Reading – (Amazon)
15 Rules To Strengthen Mind And Body
52 Weeks of Wellbeing: A No Nonsense Guide to a Fulfilling Work Life
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is the Beginning & End of Suffering
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Steven Lucas MBACP PNCPS (Accred) is a professional counselling psychotherapist working in Northamptonshire. Read Full Bio.
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After years of navigating life’s emotional highs and lows, I realised that what people crave isn’t just information—they want belonging, encouragement, and heart. That’s what I set out to share here.
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Healing isn’t linear, and emotional wellbeing isn’t a destination—it’s a relationship we build with ourselves over time. I’ve shared a piece of my journey here, but I know every path looks different. What’s helped you feel more grounded or whole lately? Whether it’s a small ritual, a big breakthrough, or even a question you’re still sitting with—I’d love to hear it. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to read today.
Other Posts
If you found this page useful, you might also enjoy reading these posts:
Emotional Wellbeing: A Biblical Perspective
How To Start Addressing Relationship Difficulties
Being Positive In Difficult Times
How Can I Get A Better Night’s Sleep?
How Can I Improve My Self Esteem?
Being Assertive And Managing Boundaries
Coping With Symptoms Of Stress, Anxiety And Low Mood
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Disclaimer:
I am not a doctor so this guide should not be considered a replacement for seeking medical advice. It is also not a substitute for obtaining therapy as other factors, such as trauma, need to be considered.
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