The Damaging Consequences of Displaced Anger

Did you find this article helpful? Share it!

Anger displacement occurs when you direct your angry thoughts and feelings at someone or something that is safe or convenient, rather than the actual source of your anger. For example your boss gives you a hard time at work, but you say nothing and take it out on your partner when you get home. Not only is this bad for your relationships, but it is also ineffective when dealing with the angry feelings – the anger you feel at your boss is still there.

In time you may start to write a script for yourself that involves always displacing your anger, and this in turn can lead you to adopt a cynical and hostile view of your world. Anger turned inward can also lead to depressive disorders. So how can you deal with anger more effectively?

Dealing with Anger

The source: Think about what is making you feel angry and why it is you feel anger rather than a different emotion. Are you feeling threatened by the situation, or did you have unrealistic expectations to begin with?

Your reaction: Avoid reacting to provocation by showing indifference to the source. Don’t feel the need to justify yourself. Instead remain calm and detached. Try to address the situation assertively instead.

Remember to breath: During angry ‘fight or flight’ situations your breathing may become shallow. This can impact on your ability to remain calm, rationalise and problem solve effectively. Breath deeply in and out through your nose.

Expressing yourself: Try to express yourself in a calm and level way the moment you start to feel angry. Don’t suppress the feelings so they build up. Remember to breath slowly and think “conversation not confrontation”. Try to be assertive rather than aggressive.

Behaviour: Smile, laugh. Visualise yourself letting go of the anger. Try to avoid thinking about the situation over and over again as this will just fuel your angry feelings. Distract yourself by thinking about something more pleasant. Use coping strategies to help you deal with stress and anxiety. Learn how to be more mindful of unhelpful thoughts.

What makes you angry? How do you deal with your anger?

Thanks for Visiting!

If you enjoyed reading this post, and you think others might benefit from reading it, why not email it to a friend or share it on social media. Thank you!

Ready to Begin your Healing Journey?

If this has resonated with you and you feel you would benefit from discussing it in a therapeutic setting, contact us now in strict confidence. Don’t miss out on this opportunity! We are here to help.

My Book

You can also buy a copy of my book from Amazon

About me

Steven Lucas MBACP PNCPS (Accred) is a professional counselling psychotherapist working in Northamptonshire. Read Full Bio.

On a Personal Note:

This blog is more than words—it’s my way of creating a life of meaning, purpose, and support for the people I love most: my family.

After years of navigating life’s emotional highs and lows, I realised that what people crave isn’t just information—they want belonging, encouragement, and heart. That’s what I set out to share here.

Every post is crafted with intention: to inspire, to uplift, and to offer real hope. Whether you’re struggling with mental wellbeing, searching for personal growth, or simply looking to feel less alone in a busy world, you’re in the right place.

What drives me? The Lord and my family, and the belief that with empathy and authentic connection, we can build a better world—one reader at a time. Thanks for being here. You’re not just a visitor—you’re part of this journey.

Don’t Forget to Share your Thoughts in the Comments Section Below!

Healing isn’t linear, and emotional wellbeing isn’t a destination—it’s a relationship we build with ourselves over time. I’ve shared a piece of my journey here, but I know every path looks different. What’s helped you feel more grounded or whole lately? Whether it’s a small ritual, a big breakthrough, or even a question you’re still sitting with—I’d love to hear it. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to read today.

Buy Me a Coffee?

If you’ve found comfort, insight, or encouragement here, and you’d like to say a little “thank you,” buying me a coffee is an amazing way to do just that. Your support helps me continue offering heartfelt content, maintaining a safe space for those seeking guidance, and expanding access to mental health support.

Whether it’s one coffee or a few, your gesture means the world. It tells me that what I’m doing matters—and that I’m not alone in this mission to bring light into people’s lives.

Disclaimer:

I am not a doctor so this guide should not be considered a replacement for seeking medical advice. It is also not a substitute for obtaining therapy as other factors, such as trauma, need to be considered.

There are pay per click ads on this site for which I may receive a small commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This helps to pay for the running of the site. I do not endorse any of the products advertised.

Some of the blog posts on this website include content that was generated or assisted by artificial intelligence (AI). While we strive for accuracy and clarity, AI-generated material may contain errors or reflect limitations in current technology. Please use your own judgment and consult professional sources when making decisions based on this content.