đź‘€ The Hidden Reasons Behind Our Judgments
Let’s be honest—judging others is something we all do. Sometimes it’s subtle, like a passing thought about someone’s outfit. Other times, it’s harsh and persistent. But why do we judge?
Judgment often stems from our own insecurities, fears, and unmet needs. It’s a defense mechanism—a way to create distance between ourselves and what we don’t understand or feel threatened by.
When we judge, we’re not just evaluating others—we’re protecting ourselves.
🔍 The Psychology of Judgment
Psychologists suggest that judgment is rooted in comparison. We measure others against our own values, beliefs, and experiences. This can create a false sense of superiority or control.
But beneath that surface lies something deeper:
- Fear of vulnerability
- Desire for belonging
- Need for certainty
Judging others can temporarily soothe discomfort, but it also reinforces separation and shame—both for ourselves and those we judge.
đź’” How Judgment Hurts Us
Judgment doesn’t just affect the person being judged—it affects us, too. It creates emotional distance, fuels resentment, and blocks empathy.
Over time, habitual judgment can lead to:
- Increased anxiety
- Lower self-esteem
- Strained relationships
- A closed-off heart
It’s like building walls to protect ourselves, only to find we’ve locked ourselves in.
🌱 How to Judge Less and Connect More
The good news? We can learn to judge less. It starts with awareness and a willingness to look inward.
Here are five gentle strategies to shift from judgment to compassion:
- Pause and Reflect When you catch yourself judging, ask: “What am I feeling right now?” This simple pause creates space for insight.
- Practice Curiosity Over Criticism Replace “What’s wrong with them?” with “I wonder what they’re going through.” Curiosity opens the door to empathy.
- Notice Your Triggers Judgment often reveals something about us. What traits or behaviours trigger you? Explore them with kindness.
- Embrace Imperfection We all have flaws. Accepting your own makes it easier to accept others.
- Choose Connection Judgment isolates. Compassion connects. When in doubt, choose the path that brings you closer to others.
đź’¬ Final Thoughts: From Judgment to Joy
Judging others is a habit—but it’s not a life sentence. With awareness, intention, and compassion, we can soften our gaze and open our hearts.
The next time you feel the urge to judge, pause. Breathe. Ask yourself: “Can I choose understanding instead?”
Because when we judge less, we love more. And that’s where healing begins.
Further Reading – (Amazon)
15 Rules To Strengthen Mind And Body
52 Weeks of Wellbeing: A No Nonsense Guide to a Fulfilling Work Life
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is the Beginning & End of Suffering
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Steven Lucas MBACP PNCPS (Accred) is a professional counselling psychotherapist working in Northamptonshire. Read Full Bio.
On a Personal Note:
This blog is more than words—it’s my way of creating a life of meaning, purpose, and support for the people I love most: my family.
After years of navigating life’s emotional highs and lows, I realised that what people crave isn’t just information—they want belonging, encouragement, and heart. That’s what I set out to share here.
Every post is crafted with intention: to inspire, to uplift, and to offer real hope. Whether you’re struggling with mental wellbeing, searching for personal growth, or simply looking to feel less alone in a busy world, you’re in the right place.
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Healing isn’t linear, and emotional wellbeing isn’t a destination—it’s a relationship we build with ourselves over time. I’ve shared a piece of my journey here, but I know every path looks different. What’s helped you feel more grounded or whole lately? Whether it’s a small ritual, a big breakthrough, or even a question you’re still sitting with—I’d love to hear it. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to read today.
Other Posts
If you found this page useful, you might also enjoy reading these posts:
Emotional Wellbeing: A Biblical Perspective
How To Start Addressing Relationship Difficulties
Being Positive In Difficult Times
How Can I Get A Better Night’s Sleep?
How Can I Improve My Self Esteem?
Being Assertive And Managing Boundaries
Coping With Symptoms Of Stress, Anxiety And Low Mood
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Disclaimer:
I am not a doctor so this guide should not be considered a replacement for seeking medical advice. It is also not a substitute for obtaining therapy as other factors, such as trauma, need to be considered.
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