Zajonc: Do Couples Start To Look Alike

Did you find this article helpful? Share it!

Robert Zajonc was a leading figure in social psychology. Zajonc’s parents were killed in the Nazi invasion of Poland in 1939 and he was sent to a German labour camp from which he later escaped. He walked 550 miles to a fishing port and found safe passage on a fishing boat bound for Ireland. He moved to America where he earned bachelor’s, master’s and doctoral degrees from the University of Michigan.

One of his many contributions to the field of social psychology was a study into whether couples facial features actually converge the longer they are together. Is this really possible? First let’s put this in perspective. Zajonc wasn’t studying couples who already resembled each other. i.e. they hadn’t consciously selected each other because they had similar features to begin with.

So, Zajonc had 110 participants study photographs of couples taken at the start of their relationship. He then showed them photographs of the same couples after 25 years. The feedback Zajonc and his colleagues received from the participants did indeed suggest that couples do start to look like each other after a long period of co-habitation. But, why should this be the case? Several reasons have been put forward:

Predisposition: This is the theory that people unconsciously chose a partner who will grow to look like them. So, for example very happy people will attract a partner with similar personality traits. In time they will develop a similar ‘look’ as a result of this.

Environment: Couples live in the same area and so are affected by sunshine and other climatic conditions. Therefore, their environment may play a part.

Empathy: Two people who live together for a long period of time, by virtue of empathic mimicry, would grow physically similar in their facial features. This theory holds water because the facial muscles act as ligatures on veins and arteries, which has an impact on blood flow to the face. The implication of this ‘vascular theory’ is that the habitual use of facial musculature in similar ways may cause a permanent change in the facial features of couples. Therefore, the use of empathic mimicry in intense social contact situations would appear to be the answer.

Also, the researchers discovered another surprising fact from the study. Resemblance, it seems, is also associated with greater reported marital happiness. So, have you started to look like your partner over time?

Thanks for Visiting!

If you enjoyed reading this post, and you think others might benefit from reading it, why not email it to a friend or share it on social media. Thank you!

Ready to Begin your Healing Journey?

If this has resonated with you and you feel you would benefit from discussing it in a therapeutic setting, contact us now in strict confidence. Don’t miss out on this opportunity! We are here to help.

My Book

You can also buy a copy of my book from Amazon

About me

Steven Lucas MBACP PNCPS (Accred) is a professional counselling psychotherapist working in Northamptonshire. Read Full Bio.

On a Personal Note:

This blog is more than words—it’s my way of creating a life of meaning, purpose, and support for the people I love most: my family.

After years of navigating life’s emotional highs and lows, I realised that what people crave isn’t just information—they want belonging, encouragement, and heart. That’s what I set out to share here.

Every post is crafted with intention: to inspire, to uplift, and to offer real hope. Whether you’re struggling with mental wellbeing, searching for personal growth, or simply looking to feel less alone in a busy world, you’re in the right place.

What drives me? The Lord and my family, and the belief that with empathy and authentic connection, we can build a better world—one reader at a time. Thanks for being here. You’re not just a visitor—you’re part of this journey.

Don’t Forget to Share your Thoughts in the Comments Section Below!

Healing isn’t linear, and emotional wellbeing isn’t a destination—it’s a relationship we build with ourselves over time. I’ve shared a piece of my journey here, but I know every path looks different. What’s helped you feel more grounded or whole lately? Whether it’s a small ritual, a big breakthrough, or even a question you’re still sitting with—I’d love to hear it. Your story might be exactly what someone else needs to read today.

Buy Me a Coffee?

If you’ve found comfort, insight, or encouragement here, and you’d like to say a little “thank you,” buying me a coffee is an amazing way to do just that. Your support helps me continue offering heartfelt content, maintaining a safe space for those seeking guidance, and expanding access to mental health support.

Whether it’s one coffee or a few, your gesture means the world. It tells me that what I’m doing matters—and that I’m not alone in this mission to bring light into people’s lives.

Disclaimer:

I am not a doctor so this guide should not be considered a replacement for seeking medical advice. It is also not a substitute for obtaining therapy as other factors, such as trauma, need to be considered.

There are pay per click ads on this site for which I may receive a small commission. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This helps to pay for the running of the site. I do not endorse any of the products advertised.

Some of the blog posts on this website include content that was generated or assisted by artificial intelligence (AI). While we strive for accuracy and clarity, AI-generated material may contain errors or reflect limitations in current technology. Please use your own judgment and consult professional sources when making decisions based on this content.