Grief, Gelert, The Prince of Wales and Coping with Loss

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Coping with grief: In the 13th century the Prince of Wales had a palace at Beddgelert. One day he went hunting without Gelert, his “faithful hound”. On his return he found Gelert in his infant son’s room, the crib was over turned and Gelert was stained and smeared with blood. The bedclothes from the crib were also covered in blood. Gelert ran to his masters side, but in a fit of rage the Prince drew his sword and killed the faithful hound.

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But, too late. As Gelert let out a dying yell the Prince’s son began to cry. As he pulled away the crib the Prince found his son lying alive and well next to the body of the wolf that the brave Gelert had killed. The Prince buried Gelert a short walk south of the village of Beddgelert, the tombstone is still there today. The Prince, filled with remorse, is said never to have smiled again.

The Stages Of Grieving

Grief impacts on us all in different ways, but there are five fundamental stages as defined by Elizabeth Kubler Ross (TM).

Denial: you refuse to believe that your loved one has gone; carrying on with your life as though nothing has changed. Also, you may feel emotionally numb.

Anger: you can become angry with other people, blaming them for your loss. Furthermore, you may even blame yourself or the person who has died.

Bargaining: you may try to ‘do a deal’ with God to bring back your loved one. “If only I had done this… if only they hadn’t done that…”.

Depression: you may be very emotional and ‘down’, often bursting into tears and blaming yourself.

Acceptance: you still think about your loved one, but the feelings are less intense. You realise that life ‘must go on’.

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Steven Lucas MBACP PNCPS (Accred) is a professional counselling psychotherapist working in Northamptonshire. Read Full Bio.

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Disclaimer:

I am not a doctor so this guide should not be considered a replacement for seeking medical advice. It is also not a substitute for obtaining therapy as other factors, such as trauma, need to be considered.

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